I followed another man
Down the rabbit hole.
You would think I would learn—
Remember what this darkness
Was like last time, but I never do.
I wanted to believe things could
Be different, that I could end up
Sitting for days at his desk chair
In a white dress, and that he would
Bathe me when it was all over.
Take care of me.
Then we would have
Our happy ending, but
We never did
And I ended up in a room
By myself with echoing fragments
Of all my loudest mistakes to
Fill my ears with, keeping
Me company. He never meant
To hurt me but I feel the sting
Of his absence like the confirmation
Of every fear I’ve ever had about
My own inadequacy.
And I remember the reasons
I never wanted to place one man’s
Importance over another.
I never wanted to be left
Again like this. Alone.
With small hands, a loud
Mind, and too much space
Between my body and sleep.
I tell myself that I am not
Alice in Wonderland any longer.
The dream of his touch
Is over.
It’s time to wake up.

» "The Dream Of His Touch" by Radha Kistler {radhakistler.com} (via floatinginthethoughtstreams)  
reblogged 13 hours ago @ 02 Sep 2014 with 42 notes via/source
reblogged 14 hours ago @ 02 Sep 2014 with 2,644 notes via/source

I had a dream last night about
two different men who at one time,
moved the span of my entire universe.

One made love to me, but at some point
I ran from him trying to find the other one,
the one I really wanted.

He was nowhere to be found. I looked
for him. He was the one I wanted,
I wanted to give everything of myself
to him, only to be emptied again
and again.

He was the one I wanted.
I had lost him again.

» "Lost Again" By Radha Kistler  (via floatinginthethoughtstreams)  
reblogged 14 hours ago @ 02 Sep 2014 with 32 notes via/source
reblogged 14 hours ago @ 02 Sep 2014 with 7,554 notes via/source

Once upon a time,
I fell in love with
A complication.
He saw me as magic
In his world, for a little while
We were a light at the end of
The tunnel, for each other.
Things grew, they changed.
The harsh reality of work
And too much distance
Interfered with a happy ending.
I could not understand the problem
With marrying my emotions
To a complication, when I lack
Simplicity myself.
I could not understand
The consequence of putting
All my romanticism
Into someone who disliked
The parts of themselves
I love most.

» "I Used To Be Magic To You" by Radha Kistler   
reblogged 1 day ago @ 01 Sep 2014 with 56 notes via/source

I am better, but it’s daytime
And I am still dissolving.
You are an addiction
Body of a man I have loved
I want to desensitize myself,
Slowly to the thought of a life
Removed from you.
Without your voice
On the other end of the
Telephone —-
A reminder that I am not
The only one who is lonely.
I am better, but strangers
Can tell I am grasping at straws
Longing to be understood somehow.
To make a connection to the world
Outside of my mind. The world
Outside of you. I am an addict
To our memories.
I am getting better.
But I am still dissolving.

» "Dissolving" by Radha Kistler  
reblogged 1 day ago @ 01 Sep 2014 with 41 notes via/source
And I have found my missing puzzle piece in you. Happy 6th month to us ❤️

And I have found my missing puzzle piece in you. Happy 6th month to us ❤️

posted 5 days ago @ 28 Aug 2014 with 1 note
xMonthsary xI love you xI miss you xCouple necklace xMy missing puzzle piece xcute xlove xrelationships xphotography xblack and white xpuzzle xdog tag xaccessories xnecklace xL❤️J xleozlion xnjmanalo xcouple

Boring men keep messaging me
on the internet. Dating websites
are a bit of a joke.
No one can handle
the punchline. They want
my body, but you want me body,
mind and soul.

We still love each other
with our messy personas-
our emotional states
of too much and
not enough.

We were close immediately
as though we had taken hold
of each other in previous lifetimes
like this has all already happened
and will continue to happen
forever.

I tell you I will probably
spend my birthday alone.
Wandering some city nearby.

You tell me to get
a plane ticket, so I can
be happy. With you.
If even for a little while.

» "Let Me Be In San Francisco" by Radha Kistler   
reblogged 6 days ago @ 27 Aug 2014 with 48 notes via/source

Frankly, most men bore me.
This is a problem because
I would never be content
with a plain existence
sitting in one room for
the rest of my life with
a boring husband who I have
come to love mainly out of
necessity. I want the one whom
I devote myself to —
to be incredible. Electric.
Someone worth knowing. Someone
who intrigues beyond the point
of comprehension. Someone who
electrifies all of the cells
of my body, who ignites the surface
of my skin when we touch. Someone
who sees me more for my
soul substance rather than
the sum of my parts. He will
understand how to keep me.

How to enliven even
the darkest corners of my
entire universe. He will
fall in love daily
with the subtle nuances
I have saved just for him.

He will know what he has
and what he could lose.
What we would lose, together
If ever we were to unravel.
And what we will gain
by joining ourselves.
By being near each other.

And we will grow.
And deepen with our
complexities
and simplicity.

And continue.
And continue.
And understand
that the final chapter
will never
be written.

» "Dynamic" By Radha Kistler   
reblogged 1 week ago @ 26 Aug 2014 with 211 notes via/source

I sat outside with an umbrella and an aching heart. I cannot help but compare the gloomy rainy weather to the sentiment I was in.

» Rainy day thoughts  
posted 1 week ago @ 25 Aug 2014 with 4 notes
xpersonal xquote xspilled thoughts xspilled ink xrain xsad xquotes xrainy day
My Neighbor Jake The Dog

My Neighbor Jake The Dog

reblogged 1 week ago @ 25 Aug 2014 with 40,152 notes via/source

IKAW by Yeng Constantino

"Sa pagpatak ng bawat oras

ay ikaw ang iniisip-isip ko.

Hindi ko mahinto pintig ng puso.

Ikaw, ang pinangarap-ngarap ko.

Simula ng matanto na balang araw iibig ang puso.

Ikaw, ang pagibig na hinintay.

Puso ay nalumbay ng kay tagal ngunit ngayo’y

nandito na IKAW.

Ikaw, ang pagibig na binigay sa akin ng maykapal.

Biyaya ka sa buhay ko.

Ligaya’t pagibig ko’y IKAW.”

A very heartfelt song from Yeng. I am so inlove 

posted 1 week ago @ 25 Aug 2014 with 2 notes
xyeng constantino xyengyan xIkaw xIkaw Lyrics xYeng xmusic video xIkaw official music video xsweet xopm xromantic xcouple xtagalog xpinoy xpinoy music xlove

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. I think I made you up inside my head.

»  Sylvia Plath    
reblogged 1 week ago @ 23 Aug 2014 with 11,239 notes via/source
reblogged 1 week ago @ 23 Aug 2014 with 2,949 notes via/source

FOREVER CRUSH ko po :”>

Leonyl Dowie Aganio Appreciation post.

Dahil ginawan ko ng appreciation post ang mga ultimate crushes kong si Erwan Heussaff at Tanner Patrick, I think my forever crush deserves one as well 

Yes, forever talaga. I’m not exaggerating. Kasi kahit di ako big believer nyang term na forever, malakas talaga tama ko dito sa lalakeng to eh. Alam mo ung tipong kahit ilang picture pa nya ung titigan mo ng titigan, di pa rin mawala-wala ung kilig factor? Ung kahit isang oras mo na tinititigan, di pa rin matanggal ung pang-adik lang na ngiti sa mukha mo haha creepy lang. Pero seryoso, kaya ko nasabing forever kasi feeling ko never ako magsasawang kiligin sa chinito (chainee!) baby ko na to. SRSLY. Just look at the way he bites his lips… deym! Fangirl mode lang ako lagi eh. Talk about kilig-overload!


Tsaka, it’s not just the looks that got me. Even before I ever saw him, I was already captivated by his personality. Siya kasi ung tipo ng taong laging positive. Gusto nya lagi masaya kahit may mga problema. He’s my breathe of fresh air and ray of sunshine. Isang malaking thank you Lord bonus lang talaga ung looks nya. Nagulat na lang ako and I was like “Damn! How’d I get so lucky?” (panakaw ng linya :p) Akalain mo yun? AKIN siya :”> Kaya panong di ako kikiligin? Isipin ko lang na sa dinami-rami ng babae sa earth, ako pa ung napili nya? Swerte ko talaga. Ay hindi pala swerte. BLESSED. Bait talaga ni Lord. He blessed me with such a wonderful (not to mention, gorgeous!) guy to love. Gets ko na kung bakit nya ako pinagintay (pinagdusa lol.jk.) ng matagal. Sobrang worth it naman pala. Patience at tiwala lang talaga. God is good, like really good 


Oh laki ulo ng isa jan haha kidding babe, I love you!

posted 1 week ago @ 23 Aug 2014 with 2 notes
xWow tagalog! xonce in a blue moon lang ako magpost ng tagalog haha xGood morning Baby! xI love you xI miss you xboyfriend appreciation post xawesome boyfriend is awesome xtagalog xLove xrelationships xfangirl mode xpersonal xLeozlion xcrush xforever crush xultimate crush